Maximizing Parenting Time After Divorce: How to Create Positive Outcomes for You and Your Kids

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• Understand your state’s laws on custody and visitation to ensure you are aware of your parental rights.

• Set realistic expectations when considering time with kids, including work hours and extracurricular activities.

• Be willing to compromise and cooperate with your ex-spouse for the benefit of your children.

• Take part in activities with your kids and stay involved in their lives.

• If necessary, seek professional help to guide you through the process of parenting after a divorce.

Divorce can be emotionally and mentally challenging, especially regarding child custody. Many parents worry that they won’t get enough time with their kids, so it’s essential to create a visitation plan. If you are a parent who wants to spend more time with your children after a divorce, this blog post is for you. This post will discuss tips and tricks to help you get more time with your kids.

1. Understand Your State’s Laws Regarding Custody

The first thing you need to do when trying to get more time with your kids after a divorce is to understand your state’s custody laws. Each state has different rules regarding custody and visitation, so it’s essential to know your rights as a parent. In some states, joint custody is automatically granted unless there is a valid reason to deny it, while others require a more formal process.

If the initial custody agreement is not in your favor, you may be able to modify it by filing a petition with the court. The process of child custody modification is complex and requires the services of a skilled family law attorney. You should also seek the advice of an experienced family therapist, if possible. They can provide insight into your child’s best interests and help guide you through the process.

A father preparing a young girl for school

2. Set Realistic Expectations

One mistake that parents often make after a divorce is setting unrealistic expectations. For example, if you work long hours during the week, it may not be reasonable to expect to have your kids every weekend. It’s essential to be realistic about your schedule and how much time you can realistically spend with your kids. Communicate your intentions with your ex-spouse beforehand. Consider the following factors:

a. School and extracurricular activities

Children have a lot of commitments outside of school, so you need to be mindful that some weeks may be busier than others. If your ex-spouse is responsible for those activities, agree on a schedule that will work for both of you.

b. Vacations and travel

When planning vacations, you should also communicate with your ex-spouse to ensure that you can spend time with the kids during the trip. If possible, agree on a schedule that allows for both parents to be involved, especially if your family plans to travel out of state.

c. Shared custody and holidays

If you decide to pursue joint custody, discussing holiday schedules and shared custody arrangements will be necessary. You should also consider creating a parenting plan that outlines both parents’ responsibilities and expectations.

d. Communication

Finally, it’s important to keep communication open with your ex-spouse regarding scheduling and other matters related to parenting. Creating a safe and respectful environment for your children to express their feelings is also essential.

3. Be Willing to Compromise

If you want to get more time with your kids, you may need to be willing to compromise with your ex-spouse. For example, if you wish to have your kids on a particular weekend, but your ex has made other plans, you could offer to switch weekends or find a compromise that works for both of you. Working cooperatively with your ex-spouse can benefit both you and your children.

Father and son playing video games

4. Be an Involved Parent

Another way to increase your time with your kids after a divorce is to be an involved parent. This means spending quality time with your children when you have them, keeping in touch with them when you don’t, and staying involved in their lives. Although being a parent after a divorce is difficult, it’s essential to remain committed and consistent to ensure your children feel loved and supported.

Of course, you should talk to your children about the divorce but keep the conversation positive. Let them know that you still love and care for them, no matter what. This will help them feel safe and secure, even if they must spend time with both parents separately.

5. Seek Professional Help If Necessary

If you’re struggling to get more time with your kids after a divorce or if you’re struggling to co-parent with your ex-spouse, it may be helpful to seek the help of a therapist or family counselor. These professionals can provide valuable support and guidance as you navigate parenting challenges after a divorce. Many organizations also offer workshops and classes for divorced parents.

Getting more time with your kids after a divorce can be difficult, but it’s not impossible. Understanding your state’s custody laws, setting realistic expectations, being willing to compromise, and being an involved parent can create positive outcomes for yourself and your kids. If needed, professional help is available to assist you in the process. With patience and understanding, you can create a plan that works for everyone involved.


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